Where is mine?

I'm quite bothered because this pass few months I can't hardly feel it beating the way it normally does. Is it because of the hard blows it had faced? or maybe due to its confusion on the ever changing world? or I guess brought about by the people who crushed it with broken promises? or most probably my own fault by insisting the philosophies that is constantly rejected by reality? I can only ask and hope for now that soon I will figure out...